review of draft 1

I have just completed the first step in my process which is getting all my ideas in the first rough draft of my paper. I feel like I am doing well at providing good examples but I feel like I did not organize my paper very well. I am concerned that I am not reaching my target audience and that I maybe should think about revising my topic. After realizing that college referees already review difficult plays before they make a decision I feel like it may be difficult to prove my point. I wanted to work on getting my ideas out faster without worrying about how the sentence sounded. I feel like I have improved at writing without stopping although it still takes me a long time to write a rough draft. In my paper I would like to specifically focus on revising my third paragraph.  I am concerned that it does not make sense and that sometime what I say contradict what I had wrote earlier in the paper. If I had to turn in this paper as a final draft I would probably fail the assignment. I need to go back reread the assignment sheet and start editing my paper. 

Reading response to “Shitty First Drafts”

My writing process is simple. I usually do not do an outline unless it is required. Starting with the body paragraph has always been the easiest way for me to write. Sometimes I will not even put an introduction or a conclusion in my first draft. In “Shitty First Draft” The difficulty to start writing was mentioned by Anne Lamont when she wrote food reviews for California Magazine. I can relate to how she felt because I have also struggled to start writing some of my papers. Not only has it been tough for me to start writing but writers block has also haunted me in the past. lately it has not been a problem for me though. I have learned to start writing and to continue writing until I have more than the required amount of words for the assignment. After the first draft is complete I go back and reword some sentences (to make it sound professional) , take out some sentence, and add an introduction and a conclusion. While working on the third draft I go through and look for any grammatical errors and add my final changes to the paper. I do not see myself as a writer because writing has never been easy for me. Until now I have never been able to write an entire paragraph without stopping and erasing. It would take me ten times longer than all the other students, which is why I failed every writing test I took. The writing test required me to write a good paper in a short amount of time, which was nearly impossible for a writer like me at that time in my life.

Shitty_Drafts_2_ aaron

Inquiry Blog 4: referees in basketball

The topic I am most interested in exploring is within the Basketball community. The victor of a basketball game can be decided by the last play of the game and referee of that game can make a call that determines who the victor is. With this being said the deciding factor of some basketball games is the referee. My question now is why it is not allowed in the rules for basketball coaches to challenge a call made by the officials like football coaches. I understand that Basketball is a fast pace game and the coach should not be allowed to stop the game to challenge a call but a coach should have the opportunity to challenge a game deciding call made by a referee. I plan on looking into articles, blogs, and forums for an answer to my question. In addition, I will discuss my inquiry with people who participate in the sport such as coaches, players, and assistants. Some topics I plan on researching would be how rules are created in basketball, technology in basketball, and psychology in basketball. The importance of my question is that it could change the outcome of a basketball game, the aggressiveness of the players, and which players stay in the game. If the referees do not call foul the players will play more aggressive which can lead to an injury. On the contrary, if the coach has control over the fouls being called he may be able to prevent an injury. Many will benefit from my inquiry such as players, coaches, referees and even fans. If a team could review a play that determines the winner of a game it would keep the game fair and fans could not blame the referees on the loss their team took. Toward the end of a game being watch on television, referees make calls that favor the losing team. The referees do so in order to keep people watching the game. The psychological aspects that this theory connects to would cause a rise in effort of the referees due to the possibility of the call being challenged and the outlook of the referees’ reputation if they are continually challenged and proven wrong. 

Research on Basketball cop

recent NBA news Lebron James set an NBA record February 12, 2013 against the  Trail Blazers.  He scored at least 30 points with a 60 percent shooting average in six games straight.  The same day Lebron broke a record, kobe bryant only scored 4 points and the LA Lakers still managed to defeat the phoenix suns 91 to 85.

Recent College Basketball Rank 8 Michigan State beats rank 4 Michigan. Kansas ends their 4 game losing streak by defeating Kansas State. Kansas hasn’t lost four games straight since their 1988-1989 season. 

 

 

what I want to work on as a academic writer

As an academics writer I have been told that I need to outline before I start to write but that is not how I like to write my papers. I like to just sit down and start writing and then organize it when I get done. As an academic writer, I would like to improve on my transition sentences and staying on topic while I am writing. The examples I choose to put in my papers are great but sometimes I feel as if I did not connect them to my topic as well. I want to work on appealing to my audience when writing.

insurrection concerning basketball community

Throughout the semester I would like to focus on the COP of basketball. Writing within this COP mainly consist of articles and blogs in which they talk about a basketball game recap or basketball news. A basketball game recap is when somebody goes over a previous basketball game. Recaps are usually written shortly after the game is over. There are usually quotes from basketball players, a play by play of the game, and statistics about the game, players, and team. I do not understand why somebody would want to read the play by play of the game when they could just watch it instead. If I were to write a Basketball game recap, I would post a video of the final two minutes of the game and mainly talk about the statistics of the game. Adding a video to a blog would allow somebody to explain the game and get their post online sooner. When doing a Basketball game recap you should post your first copy shortly after the game is over. A play by play of the game is a value shared by many people in the basketball community. breaking the rule of actually writing by showing a video would not change my identity or my membership in the community.

Reading Response to Brannon Five Par Essay and John’s Discourse Communities and COP’s

Brannon Five Paragraph Essay talks about the fact that writing was taught to be a specific format in middle and high school but it college students are given the opportunity to express themselves. On the second page the article states “Imposing an arbitrary format makes learning to write just that much harder, and for no good reason”. John’s Discourse Communities and COP’s talks about the little “d” in discourse and the different genres in communities. on page 503 he mentions “it is the written genres of communities that are accessible t o outsiders for analysis. We need only to ask professionals about their texts in order to collect an array of interesting examples.” Basketball is a community of practice that i have been apart of for a long time and it would be more convenient to take three steps instead of two while in motion. It would be easier to execute some of the most popular moves in basketball without having to worry about somebody calling “travel”. I know if I tried to constantly break this rule a lot of people on my team would get mad. Although it would be a good idea to change this rule, especially for people who are beginners at basketball and have not been playing for a long time. For people who have not been playing Basketball for a long time it is difficult for them to beat their defender to the basket. Providing them with an extra step will at least give them a chance at beating their defender.